Dreams, phlegm, and force feeding

I hear that pregnant women have weird and very vivid dreams. I, however, have always had weird and vivid dreams. Ask Craig, he thinks I have the mind of a crazy person. Being pregnant hasn't really changed my dreaming...style. Last night, for example, I dreamed that Michael J Fox was my boyfriend and we were having lunch at Sweet Tomatoes. I remember carrying my tray through the line, only, I don't remember what we had. The only strange part was that he went through the line ahead of me and didn't pay. Heh. Jerk.
The night before I had a dream that Gwen Stafani and I became good friends. She wanted to do something different with the band, and decided that the "something different" was to make me the other lead singer. Nothing weird about that! Wait- she lived in a crappy apartment complex, so that was a little weird.

Phlegm. I have been having sinus issues, usually in the mornings, which means that I sneeze a lot, have a runny nose and, consequently, have a constant presence of phlegm in my throat. Its impossible to ignore and the second I think about it, I gag. Its most annoying. I does help if I chew minty gum, I don't know why, maybe because its a distraction. I hate having an overactive gag reflex in the mornings. And why is it just in the mornings? I swear, its largely psychological.

My appetite is still pathetic, do any of you Moms out there (especially of multiples) suggest a point when I should start drinking protein drinks? I'm almost 10 weeks, think now is unnecessarily too soon? I don't feel the need to pack on the pounds yet, I just want to make sure the little ones are getting what they need. I do eat something for every meal, the portions are just puny and many dinners (and lunches) are tomato soup and crackers. The other night I had a generous handful of green olives and a small bowl of cottage cheese for dinner. Mmmmm, green olives:) Not terrible, I got my protein! The saturday before I had a bowl of cereal at noon and a cup of soup at 8. Could have been why I had a headache that day. Today for lunch I aimed for a baked potato and cup of chili. I only ate the potato. Chili was too oniony for me. The potato was a decent size, so I don't feel bad. You all have to know something, this is such a new feeling for me. For years I longed for my appetite to be taken away- as healthy as it normally is. And now when I'm allowed, and encouraged to eat like a cow, I have to force myself. I have to admit... its lovely.

Stil Pregn

I'm nine weeks today and as of the ultrasound last Monday, we still have three in there. Heh, so much for doctors' predictions. Amazingly enough, I have still managed to avoid "morning" sickness. I feel like I still have to say "but it could hit at any time" because I'm worried that as soon as I cop an attitude or say "Hah! Nausea Shmasea!" -I'll immediately start vomiting. So FOR NOW, Im incredibly grateful. However, I haven't been so lucky to avoid headaches or migraines. And ooooooh, they can be nasty, especially because the only thing I can take is Tylenol. BAH! I'd do just as well with a couple tic tacs. Anyway, its slightly unnerving to think that I could have 6+ more months of migraines ahead of me with no defense in sight. I had one Friday and Saturday and the only thing that made any difference, although barely noticeble, was to take a scarf and tie my heating pad around my head. I alternated the same technique using ice packs as well. All I could say to Craig was "please don't look at me." It was pitiful. And also worthless.

My only other symptoms have been a loss of appetite, and some sinus irritability. And no,
Im not showing yet. I swear when I get up in the morning I have a major bulge, but it goes away as the day goes on. Oh, and I can't sleep for crap. Weird how you can be so tired, but not able to sleep. I'm just one tossing and turning fool every night. Nothing is comfortable. No cravings yet and no sensitivities to smells either. I do have issues brushing my teeth in the morning. For some reason its the only time my gag reflex wants to participate in the fun. It takes a lot of deep breaths to get through a teeth-brushing session. Weird.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I did have to ask my doc if I should be worried that Im not having more intense symptoms, especially with triplets. She said "no way, just be grateful." If I had one, the due date would be June 14th, but with 3 I expect them sometime early to mid May, if all goes well. Here's hoping for a long and healthy pregnancy!

Im pregn....

If you haven't heard by now, Craig and I are expecting! After 3 years, 10 procedures and...well, a few dollars, we are still slightly in shock. I still can't believe the nurse actually said "I have good news for you!" Good news? For me?? You mean it WORKED?? I still have a hard time saying the words "Im preg-" nope, still feels weird. It always seemed like something that happened to everyone else. I wasn't part of the club.

At almost 7 weeks now, its still hard to believe. At this point I feel pretty darn good. I have no nausea, no sore...parts, and other than some weird, dull cramping and feelings like things are definitely stretching in there, I feel normal. Ok, I guess I do get tired more easily lately. Im not under any delusions that these horrid symptoms won't still come in the next week or two, but my Mom never had morning sickness so at least there's a chance it'll skip me.

So..... we had our first ultrasound on Thursday and we were delighted to see a tiny heartbeat fluttering away. With so much that can go wrong, it was such a relief to see something in there! Craig said the baby looked like a little cashew. Ok there were actually two. Fine, three but that's it, I promise. Yes, three little sacs with three little heartbeats. At this point, one is smaller and a few days behind the other two in development, so our doctor thinks it is likely we'll end up with twins. We have another ultrasound in 2 weeks and we should know by then if there are still three or just two. We have to at least prepare for the possibility of triplets. (holy crap)

Since things are a bit up in the air, we debated whether or not to tell everyone the results of the ultrasound right away. We thought about waiting until the next appt when we'll have a better idea. But, since I can never keep my mouth shut, and everyone already knew we were having the U/S, I couldn't look people in the face and say there was only one or even two. I figure if things change, then they change, but I don't see a reason, at least for me, to keep it all to ourselves. I feel better sharing our news and its comforting to know we're not going through this alone. Whatever happens, we know that we are all in God's hands and what is supposed to be for our little family will be.

We are so extremely grateful for the love and support we have received from our friends and family- often it is hard to distinguish between the two. We know that we have been so very blessed with this miracle and we can't wait to welcome a new life- lives- into our family.

I promised my family that I would use my blog to keep everyone updated on the progress of this pregnancy (did I just say pregnancy??) and it sure has the potential to get pretty crazy. So bring it on, I say! We're so ready.

Happy Anniversary!

On Wednesday Craig and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary. In one sense, I can't believe its been three years already. Then again, I can't even remember what my life was like before Craig. With all of these trips to and from Santa flippin Clara, it was difficult to plan anything too extensive. I didn't need to go anywhere or do anything. I was perfectly happy just being able to be together.




I still maintain- thee best cake I've ever had.

And of course, I had to throw in a few pics from our Honeymoon in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. Man, was it beautiful there. I highly recommend it.
"We've only just begun."

Labor Day Weekend

At the last minute, Craig's parents decided that we were going to Mammoth Lakes, CA again this year for Labor Day weekend. Craig's sister, Kelli, and her family came out from Utah to play too! This was our 4th annual Mammoth trip, and we have a great time every year. The weather is beautiful and its such a refreshing break from the raging infernos of Fresno.

We took the shuttle to Devil's Postpile, a super cool rock formation, and hiked from there to Rainbow Falls.
I love to fish. Even if I'm not catching anything, I hate the final reel-in for the day.
This year I made a deal with the fish- I promised them if they would just let me catch them already, AND pose for a nice photo, that I would return them safely back to their habitat. (minus the superficial bloody hole in the lip)
See, now that wasn't so bad? I went fishing by myself one morning while Craig went for a bike ride and let me tell you, trying to hold a fighting, writhing, slippery fish with one hand- not too tight to kill it- and fish a camera out of the tackle box, AND turn it on AND take a picture with the other hand is no easy feat. BUT- I got er done. I think this guy went and warned all of his buddies because he was the only one caught that day.
On Saturday Craig and I played golf with his Dad, and brother-in-law, Ryan. The course was beautiful, the weather was beautiful, and the results were beautiful. I won. Oh glory of glories.

Looking forward to next year!

Summer trip

On my birthday we left for Utah for a few days to spend time with family and attend education week at BYU. Since it was my birthday, Craig said we could stay somewhere fun on Thursday night so we didn't have to make the drive in one trip. I'll do the 12 hours all at once if I have to, but its not my favorite.
Anyhoo we stayed at the Seven Wives Inn B&B in St. George (Donna and Perry, you have good taste:). I LOVE cute little Inns and especially B&B's, so I was so excited! The Inn was beautiful and the breakfast was fantastic! I highly recommend it. (notice I tried out my new triple-barrel curling iron for the pic. if you want the look of a perm without the smelly expense, its the way to go. Craig said it looked a little 80's though.) moving along...

I dropped Craig off in Brian Head to do some Mtn Biking while I headed up to Salt Lake for my cousin's wedding. How do the men always get out of that stuff?
Anyway, I got a photo op with my Mom and Grandma at the wedding. I like seeing the 3 generations together. I really hope I have the chance to get a photo with 4 generations. My Grandma is 94 and Im working as fast as I can!




Craig met me in Salt Lake on Sunday night, and on Monday we went to Lagoon with my Mom, my three nephews- Danny, Jared and Josh, and my brother, Peter. It was tons-o-fun! I only put my foot down once and refused to go on a ride with Craig. He whined the whole night, but I wasn't about to budge. It was like a combo of a a smaller roller coaster and the tilt-a-whirl. Sound like fun? I didn't think so either.



I dropped the ball on getting photos during ed week, but we had a great time- as was expected. For any of you who have thought about going but haven't, I highly recommend it. If you can stash your kids somewhere for a week, go and check it out.

I have to add one more little thing- My mom and I went with Craig's sister, Kelly, to see Julie and Julia and can I just say what a delightful little movie that was! Really, ladies, go see it. You'll love it. And if you go, call me. I want to see it again.

A week ago, Thursday, Linda came and asked me if I wanted to go with her to Palo Alto for her niece's water polo tourney. Since our IVF doc is up there and we have to go all the time, I didn't exactly jump at the chance to go again. However, I thought about it for a minute and realized it would be fun hanging out with Linda and her way cool sister, Paula. And I'd also never watched water polo (Im from back east, afterall). So thinking I should try to embrace my California...ism-ness, I decided to go.
A few hours later my brother, Tim, who's in the Navy and stationed in Japan called me. He and his family were coming to Virginia to spend time with my SIL's family, and they were going to have a decent layover in San Francisco. He thought the chances were slim, but wondered if there was any chance that I'd be in the SF area the next night. Long story short- Linda and I packed a bag, headed to Palo Alto to watch the tournament and I was able to take Time, Leslie and Dallin to dinner. It was such a blessing to have that time with them. Dallin is gorgeous, and just being able to spend 2 hours with all of them was such a treat, I can't believe it worked out the way it did. Thank you, Linda!




Since we had so much downtime between games (matches? games? what are they called, water polo people?) we went over to the Stanford campus and checked it out. I had never been there before (like many places on this, the left coast) and it was beautiful. This is just a photo or 2 of the Stanford Memorial Church. Now I can say "I went to Stanford."



Ok, water polo. I loved it. Its awesome to watch girls getting rough and tough like that! Not to mention- Craig's cousin, Sarah, is the fastest girl on the team and seriously tears it up out there. (hmm.. since its actually in the pool would I say "in there?") I thought about Ashley Wilcox and Wendy Freeman the whole time (two girls from my church who play- -for the 4 people reading this who aren't in my ward) . Now I can't wait to go to their games/matches/meets! Although I will say Im pretty positive I'd never actually play water polo. First of all THEY CAN'T TOUCH THE BOTTOM. Seven feel of water or not, I'd drown. Secondly, those girls are ridiculous- with their wrapping legs around eachother and trying to pull them under, the swimsuit grabbing and clawing and strangling and pounding and all of this while passing a little ball around and trying to score?! Its brutal and I love it. To watch. Id probably end up punching someone in the face if they grabbed my suit and tried to drown me in the human leg wrap/pull down-maneuver. I get mad enough when someone splashes me.
Anyway, Im so grateful for these simple moments of happiness- spending time with fun, smart people, visiting new and interesting places, and above all, just being with family. The only negative was that Craig had to stay home and work. He would have been the icing on the cake.

If you would like to vote no "Harvey Milk Day" in California public schools: Call Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger at 916-445-2841. Listen to the recorded message and enter in the following order: 1 (English) 2 (legislation) 1 (SB572) 2 (against). Try until you get through.

Much to catch up on

As I sit here actually composing a new post, I feel like I should be stretching and yawning as if waking from some long hibernation or something. Its not an unfamiliar feeling, I'm probably one of the least diligent or consistent bloggers around. I actually got to the point where I missed looking at my own new posts. I'm just so tired of looking at the Disneyland pics from March already!

Anyhoo... we've been busy since March.

1: April- My Mom came for a visit during Easter to accompany me to Santa Clara for a few IVF appts- the doc is 3 hours away- bless her heart. I took her to San Fran for the first time while we were in Santa Clara. She LOVED it and we had a really nice time. See how cute she is!:) It was cold and windy, of course. Im a city girl so I love San Francisco. (well, most of it...)
I still have like 4 giant candy bars in my fridge from Ghirardelli square.


2: May- Craig and I went up to Mammoth for some late season skiing with some friends from Utah. We had a great time. The snow in May is kind of like mashed potatoes, but you can't beat the weather. It was sunny and warm and beautiful. We actually got to ski together, which I love. I did have the biggest wipeout of my skiing career, but since it was a slow (..embarrassing, awkward, stupid...) fall, there were no injuries to report. It just lasted a long time because I slid down a steep section for what felt like forever. In front of dozens of people. I was actually fuming. I get really mad if I fall.

3: June- Craig and I went down to (down?..is it up? Im not from around here.) over to Las Vegas with Steve and Linda for a work retreat/ conference thing. It was really nice. We stayed at the Bellagio and while Craig attended his sessions, I chilled out by the pool, did a little shopping and went to the Las Vegas Temple. We also saw the Donnie and Marie show at the Flamingo. I have to say, it was fantastic. Those Mormon kids can really entertain! Seriously, if you're having a bad day, this show can't NOT cheer you up. Its Donnie and Marie!? All smiles and happiness. This was the picture that was taken by a photographer at the show. I wont tell you what we paid for the little folder with our picture and a signed picture of Donnie and Marie on the other side. WELL WORTH IT!


Also in June, we went down to Fallbrook to celebrate Craig's grandparents' 80th birthdays. Man, they know how to throw a bash, it was so much fun. There was square dancing, pony rides, a bounce house, games for all, and tons of food. Good times!



It was also Craig's birthday on the 26th. We had another appt in Santa Clara so we packed Craig's gifts and opened them in the hotel. Craig likes to say that he doesn't really care about his birthday, but I know deep down he loves it when people fuss over him;) LOVE YOOOOU!

4: July- Last week the Saunders family went to Lake Tahoe. We're used to going every year to ski so it was nice to see Tahoe in the summer. It was BEAUTIFUL and the weather was unbeatable. We golfed, did a little hiking, went to the beach, laid out by the pool, got pedicures, cried when we came home to 111 degrees, it was a nice vacation. To add to all of the excitement I flew up to Washington so I could drive down with my sister-in-law, Stephanie, and her two little ones. I loved being able to see a new part of the country and spend time with them. The boys were amazing for such a long drive- 17 hours one way! Whew! Yes, I still want to have kids. These were the only pics we managed to take. Pathetic.


Also in that time, we did IVF twice- one "fresh" and one "frozen." (It does sound like we're talking produce, but no.) Still not expecting. Its the challenge of a lifetime. We just keep trying until something sticks, I guess, so on to attempt #3. I've had the chance to connect with many others in my situation through all of this. I have one friend who in 4 years and multiple ivf tries, JUST got to the point where they retrieve your eggs. She responds poorly to the drugs. I am reminded that no matter how low you feel, there are always so many things to be thankful for, and so many reasons why things could be worse. I sent out an email to my family recently explaining where we are and what we're doing next, and I said that no matter how much they can get right with IVF, the embryos have to attach on their own- no way to stitch them in or apply velcro (that was my brother's idea- he also asked if these docs were sure they were putting them in the right place? "they're not supposed to go in Craig, you know?"). My Dad said "Well I dont know how it would be difficult to become attached to you, I've always found it very easy to become attached to you. I was attached to you the moment you were born." He always says the best things. You just have to keep everything light. And humor always goes a long way.